Monday, August 31, 2009

Holy Kidnappers

Monday, August 31, 2009
• Photo: The Sun Publishing

The police in Enugu have made a major breakthrough in the bid to end kidnapping of persons in the Coal City as they apprehended a kidnap gang that wore priests’ white cassock as a disguise.

Prior to the catch, kidnappers have been taking their victims from the city to their hideouts, sometimes outside the state, the latest being the Chief Press Secretary to the governor, Mr. Dan Nwaomeh.
Nwaomeh was kidnapped in Enugu and taken to Port Harcourt where he was held for 16 days before he regained his freedom and dropped by the kidnappers at Aba in Abia State .

But the kidnappers that were dressed in priests’ garment were not as lucky as those who kidnapped Nwaomeh as eagle-eyed policemen at a checkpoint at Mayor pin down point at Awkunanaw area of the state suspected the kidnapper priests and flagged them down to see what they were doing with a middle-aged woman, Mrs. Catherine Aninjoku, who looked ruffled.

The Enugu Police Public Relations Officer Mr. Ebere Amaraizu told Daily Sun that the curiosity of the policemen at the checkpoint was aroused by the presence of the woman said to be about 55 years old among the ‘priests’ at about 11:55 p.m.
At this time of the night it was apparent that the kidnappers were hoping to ferry their victim out of Enugu State.

According to Amaraizu, one of the kidnappers escaped arrest, but had bullet wounds while one of them, Princewell Edeh, 22, and a 300 level Public Administration student of Enugu State University of Science and Technology who is now in police custody is helping them in their investigation.
The woman, a petty trader was said to have been kidnapped at Obinagu Uwani in Akpugo, Nkanu West Local Government Area.

The PPPRO told Daily Sun that the kidnappers might have abducted the woman as one of her sons, a Port Harcourt-based businessman was said to be wealthy.
Said he; “they ran into the roadblock and our men on duty who ordinarily would have allowed the priests to move on wondered what the woman could be doing with priests at such hour of the day.”
“One of them escaped with bullet wounds while the other who claims to be a student of ESUT is helping us in our investigations. We were also able to rescue the victim Mrs. Catherine Ani-Njoku who has a wealthy son residing in Lagos.”

The police spokesman disclosed that the state command has been using the stop-and-search in the state as a crime preventive measure, which, he noted, had been paying off.
He, however, noted that while the command was not joking with the stop-and-search as a security measure in the state; “the men are seriously being cautioned not to abuse it; that it is not a money-making avenue.”

Sunday, August 30, 2009

EFFICIENT READING

WHAT IS EFFICIENT READING? It is the ability to read a passage as quickly as it is possible.It is also the ability to read and understand a given passage. Before one can become an efficient reader, two things are needed. They are( 1 ) a sound mastery of vocabulary. well, we shall continue on this some other time.

TIPS FOR YOUR SURVIVAL

1) If you want to be angry, watch Obasanjo talk. IF you want to be drowsy, listen to Yaradua's speech. If you want to bored, watch David Mark's senate. If you want to waste a whole day, attend Bankole's probes. YOU want comedy, tune to Akunyili's rebranding. Aiiergic to lies, avoid Aondoakaa. If you have kids learning English, avoid Turai.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

1.Spend the day watching Harry Potter,wishing you are a wizard.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

3. If it is a math or science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer or essay exam, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read the questions aloud and debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out sarcastically, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, and sit down. About five minutes into the exam, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture this semester! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"

8. Bring a video game. Play it with the volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example, write "I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs". Be creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor and say "They've found me. I have to leave the country," and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

15. Come down with a bad case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

16. Complete the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For maths or science exams, try using Roman numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she or he is not looking. Look at the person nearest to you and say, "I can't believe you just did that!"

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam papers, eat them.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, and continue with the exam.

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes in. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, swear loudly and walk out triumphantl